Throw a cheese roll

when I learned about cheese rolling - in which brits without concern for bodily harm have thrown themselves down a steep hill since at least 1836 trying to catch a wheel of Double Gloucester - I knew I had to do it for my bday, but in central park. Here’s how you too can throw a cheese roll.

First, do not do this in the heat of summer for obvious reasons. Tell your friends to bring snacks that go well with cheese. Buy a cheese wheel. No soft cheese: you’re looking for a hard cheddar or similar that can endure. Find a suitable hill that has room to run at the end and isn’t around children/families to avoid unnecessary injury or lawsuits. when it comes time to roll, launch the cheese instead of rolling it gently to gather appropriate speed. Enjoy spread of cheese and provisions together.